Whether it’s a plan of your own, or comes to you as a surprise, switching jobs can be unnerving. The way we have learned to deal with change is very much of a knee-jerk, emotional reaction. It concentrates on control and pushing through with action. We have learned that change is–
- Hard
- Uncertain and scary
- Bad (most of the time)
The emotional response to change is fear on some level, even in the best possible situation. But, change doesn’t need to be filled with dread and fear.
Recently, I was working with a client in this exact situation. She wanted some coaching on how to change careers, but had no idea where to start. She didn’t know what she wanted to do, she just knew she needed a change. She had a stable job (ironically) as a college and career counselor in a city school. Even though she said it brought her some fulfillment, those days were few and far between, and she was getting burned out. “Kelly” wanted to travel and do something with language. After asking a lot of questions, we established some tangible tracks she could follow. However, being in a job you don’t like and having a fantasy about traveling around the world almost always makes you feel more stuck.
To keep her from falling into that trap, I told her to focus on 3 things to help her get what she wanted.
When you’re trying to figure out your next move while in a job that you’re tired of, this is the key to bridging the gap to find it:
1) Find appreciation about your current status.
When we are thinking of making a move, we become focused on everything we hate about our current situation. It makes it even worse, and can drive people to quit prematurely or unnecessarily get released due to bad performance or attitude. When you have a sense of gratitude for what is going right, even if it’s in a lay off, you are inviting more opportunities for abundance to enter the picture. There is always something about a situation to be thankful for. Feel the emotions of a time where something just worked out perfectly and feel that feeling of serendipity again. For example, maybe you went to a coffee shop to get a break and met someone who led you the next logical step in your career. Remember how that felt.
I asked Kelly to focus on the things in her job that really charged her batteries, like the fact that she has the summer off, or that she has a steady paycheck. I purposely wanted her to keep it simple. I told her to write it down in a gratitude journal. When we write things down it helps us focus and feel thankful. This improves our physical and psychological well-being.
2) Visualize your ideal situation and get excited about it.
I told Kelly to envision what she wanted her life to be like. She wanted to travel, so I told her to focus on the places she will go, the new people she will meet, and to feel the joy and excitement in those experiences as if they had already happened. I told her not to just visualize it, but that the secret was to feel the emotions (the feeling aspect reprograms your brain, and, combined with gratitude is the key to preventing fantasy mode).
3) Have faith, stay in the question, and let go of the HOW.
This may seem counter-intuitive and scary for people in transition, because we have been taught to control what we can. However, letting go is the most important thing you can do. Don’t worry about how things will work out. Our brilliance is thwarted by the word “how.” The “how” will unfold, like a good story line, if we let it. #1: Stop the chatter of judgment, pride, and ego. #2 Ask a question about your situation and stay in question mode. For example, “What am I not seeing here? “#3 Have faith and allow others to help.
Be grateful, get excited, and have faith.
These are the secrets you can use to make all your transitions go exactly the way you want. Go out and make the magic happen. You are amazing. Go and claim it!
Elyse Jarard is an award-winning entrepreneur, best-selling author, and sought-after speaker and coach. She specializes in helping high achievers attain their most ambitious goals by helping them change how they think about their obstacles. Having a health and wellness background, Elyse also helps type A personalities avoid burnout and incorporate balance while still making a huge impact.